Day 7

Well, I have made it a week.  Somehow it almost feels like I have been eating this way forever.  It's been SOOOOO much easier than any other "diet" that I have ever been on.   No hunger, not really any cravings anymore.   Of course, I could eat other things but I haven't been.

The most difficult part was that I had to travel for an overnight conference.  Food was difficult.  I brought some fruit with me but the meals served at the conference were truly inedible for me.   I was proud that was able to not eat what was served.  For lunch there was a croissant sandwich loaded with lunchmeat and bacon.  It looked pretty good.  I knew I would feel horrible if I ate it.  So I didn't.  I did eat out for dinner and ate differently than I would have like.  I did have a piece of grilled fish with some salsa type stuff on it.  I did not ask for it to be cooked without oil.   That night was really my only difficulty of the week.

My taste for wine is gone.  Which is really weird.  I used to drink wine every day.  Usually at least one bottle per day.  I know that is a lot of wine.  It usually didn't seem to affect me that much.   I just have no craving for it.  I'm amazed.  

I'm really proud of myself.   Week 1 down!!

Day 4:  well, it seems to be getting easier.  The worst part is food preparation.   This Sunday, I need to do a lot of prep work so that I can make salads easily and ideally, the night before.  This afternoon (and even now) I still have a bit of a headache.  The caffeine withdraw was worst on Tuesday but I think today was also bad.   Mike made dinner.  It was great.  A huge salad with roasted butternut squash and sauteed black bean and peppers.  I actually could not eat it all.   He ate the final probably half cup of my salad.  

I'm still tempted.   Mike made the kids a Totino's pizza tonight.  I easily could have eaten the half they did not  eat.   And I really wanted a Diet Coke earlier.  That part is hard.

One thing nice that happened was that a friend said that I looked a lot better.  She said I had been looking "gray" which I agree with, my color was off.  She said my color looks a lot better.  That made me feel good. I really hope that these changes will make a big difference in my health.   It just isn't fun feeling sick all the time.

One thing I am struggling with is what to feed the kids.  Obviously, they are not eating the same diet as we are.  I wish they would.  Since I am eating completely vegetarian right now, the kids are not interested in most of what I am eating.   I need to figure out something to do for them.  I cannot feed them pizza and macaroni and cheese for the next six weeks.  But I also don't think that they will agree to eat what I am eating.  They are good eaters but they don't like all veggies.  

Reason for my bad mood

Now I remember what my bad mood was about yesterday.   At Kate's soccer game last night, I asked Mike how he liked the pomegranate vinegar that I got.   "Uh-I didn't eat my salad.  I went to a lunch meeting and they had lunch brought in.'  "OH."  He ate at Jimmy Johns or Jasons (he didn't remember).   I was like, way to go supporting me.  I guess I have to realize that this is my battle.   The thing that bothers me is that he has super high blood pressure and super high cholesterol and is also overweight, although not as much as me.

I just want us both to be healthy.  I think about our kids and how they want to do activities and all Mike and I want to do is sleep all the time.   That just isn't fair to them.  

Day 3

Gosh, I really meant to post everyday.  Yesterday was a hard one.   Since I decided to give up Diet Coke too, my head was pounding most of the day.  By evening, it was horrible.   I could barely stand it.  For some reason, I got pissed off at Mike and was just furious by the time I got home.  I think it was just me, being a bitch.  Food choices have been ideal.   Got a carryout salad last night at Ingredient.  Perfect.   That is one place that we can do a quick dinner and know that it is a good choice.

Today, I feel better.   I still want to eat.  Want to eat bad stuff.  I don't know when or if this feeling will go away.   I am feeling a bit better. Today, I still have a bit of a headache, but nothing like yesterday.  Much much better.  Lunch today could have been better.  I went to Chipotle and ordered a naked burrito, black beans, veggies, guac, no cheese, no sour cream.  It was delicious.   I wanted to salt it because I salt everything.  I held back and didn't and was amazed by how good the food tasted.  

I am down 7 pounds since Sunday.  Now if that isn't motivation, I don't know what is.  I just want to keep going.   I want to do this.  

Day 1:  I shopped yesterday to get all the food we needed to start.   We had a lovely large salad last night.  It did have oil and it did have feta, so a bit different from the salad today.   This morning I felt ready.   I got up and made myself a big bowl of fruit.  The kids (especially Kate) was excited about the fruit.  Usually I have trouble getting her to eat in the morning.  She was all over a bowl of grapefruit, strawberries, apple and kiwi.   I enjoyed mine alot.  

I decided to give up the Diet Coke too.   Might as well do it big.   That is hard.  I don't have a headache yet.  I have drank water all morning.  I really want a diet coke.   I am going to really try NOT to give in.  

I tried to take a picture of myself, a full body shot.   I was doing it in the mirror in our bedroom and kept getting a big reflection glare.  I did get an awful picture of my head.   I know that is what I must look like, I don't look that way in my mind.   I look all bloated and have a sick looking color.  I don't really know how old I look, I just know that I look unhappy.  And I don't think of myself as being unhappy but I guess somehow I am.   

I'm going to try to keep going.  I'm scared but hopeful.....

Let's try this.....

I'm very frustrated.  I have never been this big before.  I am devastated by my weight.  I feel horrible.  I have so many aches and pains.  I have chronic bowel issues, most of which seem to be related to what I eat.  I worry about getting cancer.  When you think about it, my father and both paternal grandparents died of cancer or cancer related issues.  My odds aren't great.   My body aches.   I get out of breath going upstairs.  Something has got to change.   I was considering going to some medical weight loss place to get drugs.  I just don't think I can do it on my own.   I had seen Dr. Fuhrman on Dr. Oz previously and then saw him this week.   His system seems easy (sort of) and has so many health benefits.  If I could lose weight and become healthier I would be ecstatic.   It just makes sense.   

I want my husband to do it too, mostly as a support for me but also because he needs to lose weight too and his numbers are incredibly high.   He doesn't seem thrilled about it.   I have just got to do it.  I am going to go shopping tomorrow and try to start on Monday.  Starting with the 6 week challenge.  If I can make it 6 weeks, I think I can do it.  Wish me luck.